How to ruin your website in 10 steps

I have worked for almost 10 years in web development now, and here’s what I have learned from the clients: you can ruin your website too!

Here’s how:
1. Get the cheapest designer you can get. If your nephew says he can do it, let him do it. It’s not that hard.
2. That being said, you can also do it yourself. Why pay for some fancy designer when you can buy or get a template. And HTML+CSS is easy, right?
3. Even cheaper, copy someone else’s site and just change the text.
4. Don’t start a forum or community. There are a lot of people out there ready to say nasty things about you.
5. You should get a CMS if possible. Then you can control everything yourself real easy, and choose any font and color. Did you know with a CMS you can just copy straight from MS Word? You can make sure people notice your links by using a big red font.
6. Don’t listen to any advice from your designer. They’re just after your money, not to help you.
7. If it looks good in Internet Explorer, then you’re done. There are so many browsers there’s no keeping up with it, and most people use IE anyway.
8. Almost everyone has broadband, so keep your images in high quality. Browsers resize them anyway when they display them.
9. Tables are cool. With tables you can get layouts done that are really hard without them.
10. Get as much information from your visitors as possible. When they sign up, ask for name, gender, location, email, interests. You can even sell that information later and make a good profit.

And all of the above will help you to get the lowest possible position on Google. But there are companies that can help you to become #1, just wait for the ‘offers’ to come in.

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